Let’s get underneath the content because, let’s face it, it’s not really about the dishes. We will look to the wisdom of the nervous system for the good reason your body responds as if there is a threat. We will work to get a clearer signal that your partner can receive without getting dysregulated.

Often, one partner needs more emotional connection to engage sexually. The other needs more sexual connection to feel emotionally close. I will help build both using “Intimacy from the Inside Out.”

When one partner struggles with ADHD, mental health, or autism, it is common for the relationship to develop a deeply rooted negative conflict cycle. The neurodivergent partner can feel ashamed and find their nervous system defending against blame. The neurotypical partner can feel frustrated and alone, and find their nervous system defending against a perception of being too demanding or cold.

For partners who have experienced more than most in childhood, benign circumstances can cue the nervous system’s danger signals. This is especially confusing for the well-meaning counterpart who finds their best attempts to comfort don’t seem to land.

Queer relationships deserve attunement and skilled communication to navigate marginalization, family dynamics, and intimacy. Developing differentiation on the inside will equip you with courage and openness to have more meaningful communication and connection with your partner.

There is no one-size-fits-all structure for relationship non-conformity. Co-creating what works for you starts from the inside and depends on radical honesty with yourself and with your partners. Painful emotions are inevitable. I invite you to consider the beautiful gift of knowing yourself more deeply through emotion. Accessing loving compassion for yourself will equip you with courage and resilience as you navigate difficult conversations and emotions.